Perspective is Everything

Dear FJECC Families,

Recently at Shabbat Sing, Rabbi Slipakoff told one of our favorite stories - The Crowded Noisy House. He recounted the tale of the man who complained to his rabbi that nobody was getting enough sleep in his house because of the snoring grandmother and the crying baby, and the Rabbi's seemingly ridiculous solution was to bring one noisy animal after another into the house until the man could no longer take the chaotic cacophony of animal sounds. Seeing the man at his wit’s end, the Rabbi instructs him to remove all the animals from the house and return them to the barn. Once the chickens, goats, cows and all are returned to their proper abodes, the man and his family revel in the quiet house with just the gentle snores of grandma to lull them all to sleep.

The moral of the story? Perspective is everything. As bad as you think things are, they could be much worse. Or, in the language of Social Thinking curriculum: is this a big problem or a small problem? Hearing the story of the noisy crowded house always makes me think about classrooms and the very noisy moments that happen in them - specifically the noisy moments when a child is having some very big feelings and everyone around them is feeling unsettled, too.

The process of navigating problems can be difficult and challenging. When the human doing the navigation has only been around for 2, 3 or 4 years, disruption, disappointment, and frustration can seem monumental and insurmountable. As adults trying to support those small humans, it can feel like nothing short of talmudic scholarship will work! What parent hasn’t felt out of their league when faced with the tormented tragedy of a young child who feels they have been wronged.

Social Thinking is one of the many items in the emotional regulation toolbox that we employ in classrooms. Sometimes making our body small and soft, using a quiet voice and capturing a child’s attention that way works. Sometimes not. Occasionally, stepping away and disengaging (and yet remaining close) is the only thing we can manage. Sometimes - oftentimes - simply being with a child, physically and psychically present and in that way acknowledging that, yes, this is very hard, is the way through. Navigating the emotional landscape of early childhood is a bit like going on a bear hunt. You can’t go over it. You can’t go under it. You have to go through it.

Now repeat after me: “It’s a beautiful day. We’re not scared!”

Shalom,
Amy